International Baccalaureate Essays, Coursework and Assignments

"#1# This is an example of a solid, thoughtful and creative essay, which answers the question in a comprehensive manner by providing a wealth of ideas, examples and insights. The introduction is well-structured, as it explains the concept of rose symbolism in general and then focuses on its presence in the film itself; the last sentence concisely anticipates the argument of the essay. Overall, the question is given a well-rounded answer from the perspectives of different characters and situations. The writer is clearly aware that a single symbol might convey a wealth of meanings and implications. #2# The main body of the essay is well-constructed using a systematic scheme of example and analysis. Each paragraph attempts to discover a new layer of symbolism behind roses and illustrates this through appropriate examples, then an in-depth insight (although this insight could have been elaborated upon). The connection between the colour red, roses and Carolyn's clothes in 5th paragraph is very well-spotted, and the attempt at interpretation is original and imaginative, but perhaps too far-fetched. The writer should give more attention to connecting all the points in the paragraph in a logical sequence – for now, there seems to be a lot of jumping around, the writer seems to have too much to say but seems unsure of how to link his/her points together. Furthermore, as this is a drama essay, it's good that that the writer included a point on the camera-work and focus; but still, there should be more analysis of the theatrical effects or film techniques implemented and how they affect the symbolism. The conclusion is apt and concise, but it could be used to make a less general point – for the moment, it seems somewhat rushed. #3# The writing style is clear, precise and intelligent; the writer uses vocabulary that directly and sharply encompasses his/her thoughts on the subject, which immediately makes the essay very coherent. Sometimes, however, more attention should be paid to grammatical detail, e.g. here: “rose pedals fly from Angela's chest when she opened her shirt”. Firstly, the tenses don't agree (we have present and past in the context of the same temporal reference) and secondly, “pedals” is a misspelling, which doesn't appear anywhere else in the essay. Again, “despite his dead” in the 4th paragraph doesn't make much sense – clearly, the writer should check the essay after having written it. On the other hand, there are many verbs conducive to creating a good literary analysis – such as “manifest”, “underscore” or “implicate”. Moreover, we see a wide and appropriate usage of linking words such as “furthermore”, “thus” – this, along with a linguistically well-constructed flow, renders the piece coherent and well-rounded stylistically."

"good work"

"GOOD"

"#1# This essay demonstrates a good understanding of Shakespeare's attention to the themes of ambition, guilt and the battling of the conscience with the will in Macbeth; however, the quality of the writing makes what is an essentially sound argument difficult to fully detect. Although the student's first paragraph is dangerously close to merely paraphrasing the plot developments in the first few scenes of the play, the third paragraph begins to bring some much-needed analysis to the moments of internal confusion and conflicting ambition described in the first two paragraphs. The student has understood the prompt, but adopting a structure which delves immediately into the examination of blood would have demonstrated this understanding earlier on. #2# As it is blood as a symbol of guilt which is being examined here, it would have been prudent to sustain an engagement with how this manifests throughout the text, rather than bring it in near the end in an attempt to tie many plot moments and quotes under a hurriedly-identified literary device. It is the final paragraph which hints at a deeper capacity for analysis; if only that well-identified final sentence, regarding the tragic irreconcilability of ambition and conscience, had been a thread running through the student's argument from beginning until the end, this essay would have reached the next level of evaluation. #3# Unfortunately, grammar and punctuation remain the really problematic aspects of this essay. The student should review how to quote from plays - correct quotation mark placement and page references are few and far between. There are numerous run-on sentences. For instance, "... Macbeth will never be freed from his guilt. This guilt that now stains Macbeth in the form of blood..." and other similar structures should be grammatically reconfigured: "...Macbeth will never be freed from his guilt, which stains him in the form of blood..." The whole essay would benefit from a close proof-read in order to cut out unnecessary words and extra quotations that only serve as additional emphasis on points already mentioned. "

"#1# This Biology IA is outstanding in content and presentation, combining very accurate background information, easy-to-follow procedures listed out, relevant data presented in a coherent manner and insightful discussion and evaluation as well. The background information is more than needed and highlights just what is relevant instead of beating around the minor, irrelevant details. The IA mentions the investigating title but needs to reassert this by including the “aims and objectives” of the IA. The hypothesis needs more improvement as it is rather inaccurate and blur in focus, simply mentioning that there is an “effect” but without describing this effect or justifying why the effect will be as such. The writer identifies the correct independent and dependent variables while lists out a range of control variables as well. The writer also elaborates on these variables, how the concentration of peroxide solutions are varied, how the time taken is measured, how the various control variables might affect the experiment if they were different and so how they are maintained at a constant level as well. Coupled with very simple procedures, the IA also presents data very neatly and coherently. In the conclusion, the writer follows up on the data collected to conclude, justifying each conclusion with data. The evaluation section provides realistic ways to modify the experiment to improve it, and these modifications can actually enhance the experiment by a large margin, so the IA definitely answers the question overall. #2# The IA definitely exceeds expectations in several aspects of analysis but also needs more improvement in other aspects. For example, the hypothesis needs more improvement as it is rather inaccurate and blur in focus, simply mentioning that there is an “effect” but without describing this effect or justifying why the effect will be as such. However, the variables section is very well done and can score well among markers as the writer elaborates on each variable instead of just listing them. The materials and apparatus section actually not just lists equipment used but also mentions other details such as quality, quantity, concentration and other details where relevant. Instead of listing the steps, the writer actually splits the IA into different sections and then lists the procedures under these sections. This enhances the organization of the IA. All tables show data with correct number of decimal values, the correct units, proper headings so the IA scores on data presentation as well, but to improve the uncertainties of instruments can be indicated as well to justify the decimal values of data. The evaluation section is excellent in that it lists of shortcoming of a specific procedure, explains how this might affect data, recommends other ways to improve and justifies how this might not affect data negatively. But, the quantity of evaluation could be increased as well. #3# The whole IA has an excellent presentation. There are very few grammar or spelling errors but even these are not glaring errors. The use of technical terms is adequate and the IA explains the biology behind the whole IA. The IA defines technical terms where needed as well. "