GCSE: Modern Foreign Languages: German Essays, Coursework and Assignments

"Firstly, I think the font makes it difficult to read, so I would advise other users to use a standard font - it may be boring, but at least the marker won't miss anything out or misread something. Although this piece uses many examples, they don't really expand on it. Personal opinions are also important at this stage, yet there really aren't that many. The writer mixes several English and German words up, such as "Kathedrale" which should be "Dom" or "die City Bibliotek", the writer should have chosen either to translate it as "die Städtliche Bibliotek" or used the the English noun for it. TSR user: SpiritedAway"

" A great help, well structured piece"

"it was ok needs correcting and some verbs have been forgotten after using 'weil'"

"#1# This is a well-structured and well-argued piece of writing, whose author manages to express many valuable ideas and facts in a high standard of German. The introduction is very direct, whereas it could have been expanded to really give a broad overview of the topic, instead of attacking it straight away. But the writer makes up for this later on in the text. There is otherwise a rational and logical flow of argument, with each paragraph making another point; and what makes the writer's argument really persuasive is the fact that a variety of issues and ideas have been used, including health statistics, social and media pressures, as well as the causes AND effects of smoking. #2# The writer demonstrates a strong, opinionated engagement with the topic. First of all, the statistics render the argument more convincible, even in a foreign language, and second of all, the cultural implications, which are explored throughout the essay, mean that the writer has carefully considered the question at stake. Thus, he/she brings up the topic of TV as a possible influence on children and clearly explains why this might be important - “dass alle die Stars “cool” mit einer Zigarette aussehen”. This points to an intelligent understanding of contemporary attitudes and is very much connected to the modern perception of smoking as a media vehicle towards a higher social standing. Moreover, besides the social issues, the writer also demonstrates a personal connection to the topic, describing his/her own experience of it. Again, this makes the writing more believable and multilateral. Towards the end, the author offers us creative tips as to how the government could reduce smoking. This last point indicates that the writer has analysed the causes of smoking and reacted to them by creating ways of quitting. #3# The vocabulary is varied and often specialised throughout the text; obviously, good research has been conducted into the terminology of smoking. Furthermore, a variety of linking words is used, making the flow of the text more natural and logical, e.g. “meiner Meinung nach”, “erstens” or “obwohl”. But although the lexis never gets too repetitive, there are several grammatical issues, especially with adjective and noun endings in cases (e.g. “Mit Junge Leute” is wrong) and word order, which does vary from conjunction to conjunction (e.g. “und es schwierig ist” is wrong, because “und” doesn't change the word order). Overall, the contents are often obscured by the unclear, incorrect language. The writer needs to work on paying more careful attention to each grammatical rule and its application."

"awesome"