GCSE: English Literature: Drama: By Author: Arthur Miller Coursework

"5* - Excellent essay"

"plagarised."

"This needs a LOT of work, I'm afraid. The most pressing issue is probably the atrocious level of grammar evident in this piece. Not only are there numerous typo's, but certain phrases are very awkward to read and are fairly redundant as you're repeating what you've already stated. You also seem to invent a new word - 'thez' - near the conclusion of the essay which is brave, but unnecessary. You also don't really answer the question. There are glimpses of an attempt throughout the essay, but ultimately it just feels like you're repeating the story to me. Assume the reader has ALREADY read Romeo and Juliet and knows what's going on in the story, then go from there. A good starting point would be to define 'dramatic tension', as that gives you a base to refer back to. Another tip is to use the P.E.E method of analysis. That is, give your POINT, then back it up with EVIDENCE (a quotation - something else that's lacking here) and then EXPLAIN how that quote supports your point. Now, ideally, you'd want the essay STRUCTURE to be something like: INTRO, POINT 1, POINT 2, POINT 3, CONCLUSION. The introduction will set the scene for the essay, then you lunge into the meat of it, before drawing it all together in the conclusion to summarise what you've said. I'm going to be frank, you'd probably be better starting from scratch here. TSR User: chidona"

"Its good."

"Include quotes..."