GCSE: English Language Essays, Coursework and Assignments

"i dont see why you have been given a bad mark here. in my opinion you have made clear and conscice points which would make an audience digest it well. you clearly go through the 3 most harmful substances in a cigarette but at the beginning focus on children my question would be do you mean teenagers i dont know if children (defined as 12 and under) really start smoking i think u mean 13-19 as teenagers. you make good shocking statements about the deaths and this would perk up an audience and make them listen, the only other poor point is costing, whilst i appreciate you may not realise new costing yours are pretty wrong: 20 cigarettes cost approx 8 pounds making 40 16 pounds just get these figures right if you are going to quote them! again i think this would make a great speech, good luck!"

"#1# This response is well written; from the first paragraph, the aim of the letter is clear with a variety of persuasive and argumentative techniques displayed. The structure is simple and effective, each paragraph serves it's own purpose to further the writer's argument; furthermore, the points are presented in a logical order which makes the message appear more powerful. The letter is written in a precise manner that answers the question well without wasting words on irrelevant points. #2# The content of the essay is excellent. A wide range of points are chosen and analysed in great detail which lead well to the candidate's conclusions. The student shows that they can use different methods of argument, such as the power of three, rhetorical questions, emotive language and repetition. The candidate links many of her points about what the magazine is promoting to social problems, this is good practice as it shows they understand some of the wider contextual issues, and that the argument is important as opposed to mere, petty complaints. A good addition was acknowledging the fact that certain parts of the magazine were good, with the subtle flattery creating a good first impression on the reader which means they will follow the argument more closely. #3# The candidate has a good control over language and uses a wide vocabulary. There are few spelling errors and punctuation is excellent, in general. However, perhaps, this student slightly overused certain rhetorical devices such as the rhetorical question, which should be used sparingly to create a bigger effect. Overall though, the letter flows and reads very well, with the range of sentence structures making it an enjoyable read."

"#1#The student has answered the question very well, but the response could have been made clearer to the reader. Various aspects of the two poems have been picked up by the writer to show comparisons between the two poems. By talking about these and how the poet has used them to challenge particular values and ways of thinking, the writer is answering the question correctly. However, due to the way the writer has chosen to structure the essay, the comparisons may not have been as explicit as it could have been. It is crucial for students to get the format right, because a right format would make it a lot easier for readers to see that the question is being answered. It may have been better if the use of one poetic technique from the two poems is compared in each paragraph, rather than having each paragraph talking about one aspect of one poem. The writer has actually written in a clear and correct style in the first paragraph. However, the format seems to have got lost after that. As for the conclusion, the writer has done a very good job in summarising what have been talked about. Even though some of the techniques discussed earlier have not been included, the conclusion does contain all the main points and the summary to what the writer thinks is the answer to the question. #2# The writer has shown appropriate analytical skills, and has made evaluative judgements for most of the things written in the essay, but there is still a lack of evidence in some areas. The writer has picked out and analysed many different poetic devices that the poet uses in both poems, such as imageries, tone and repetitions, as well as other aspects of the poems, including the use of non-standard English, dialects, punctuations, double negatives, and the structure of the poems. Examples of these are given in the essay, as well as explanations to why they are used. This shows a level of analysis. However, it would be better if the writer tries to avoid using the same examples twice. All of the examples taken from the poems taken from the poems are relatively clear, but there are some in which better ones can be used to replace to send the message across to the readers better. It is a pity that the writer has not managed to find any example to back up the statement that humour is used in both poems in the paragraph before last. Quoting parts of the poems to show that this is true would have increased the quality of the essay. #3# Overall, the spelling, grammar and punctuations are used accurately, but there are some changes which need to take place to improve the quality of the writing. The writer uses a range of technical terms in the essay. However, there are still places where more of these could be added in. For example, rather than saying that there is no clear structure to one of the poems, the writer could have said that the poem is a free verse instead. It would be better to change all the contractions present in the essay to their full forms as well. The writer should also make sure that no words are repeated too frequently. In one of the sentences in the introduction, the word ‘English’ is used three times, and this is far too many. Another minor point is that it would be better to type quotations in italic to make the work easier to read. "

"Nice essay. Very helpful. Keep going !"

"#1#A superb example of the level of analysis required to achieve a high grade. The candidate is very through in their response and goes into great detail when discussing each section of the poem. In addition the essay is well laid out and flows nicely.#2# The candidate goes into a fantastic level of depth and analysis and carefully pulls apart each stanza, discussing the relationship between lines in the poem and the poets feelings. S/he manages to mention many of the key points I had in mind when I read the poem. The only thing lacking in this essay is discussion of the linguistic terms used, such as the metaphorical language used in the following line “there was conflict, a fractured land” the split in Pakistan is compared to her confused identify. She herself is split between the culture of Pakistan and the culture of England, in a sense she is fractured, and torn between two worlds. The use of appropriate technical terms and perhaps independent research into Pakistan as a country is all that is required to turn this into an A/A* piece of work.#3# The quality of this essay is exceptional, it is very well written, spelling and grammar are flawless, punctuation is used appropriately and there is a good range of vocabulary. Overall an excellent example of the work expected from a high grade candidate."