AS and A Level: Politics Essays, Coursework and Assignments

"#1# This essay answers the question superbly by ranging across lots of different factors, which is good because the student is referring to factors that aren't mentioned in the question, which shows they know more than simply what is there in the question. Another good point of this essay is discussing the factor mentioned in the question first, as it shows you have enough knowledge to immediately respond to the demands of the question and aren't searching for something to write. #2# The student uses a good range of evidence then goes on to explain why it was significant. For example, ''37% of AB voters...'' is good as it shows that the student knows that 37% is a substantial amount. Just saying ''lots of voters did'' wouldn't be as precise and would lose the student marks. The student then goes on to explain what this and other figures show, which is good as it shows they have the understanding to explain the figures and go beyond just writing them down. The conclusion of this essay is good as it reaches a judgement - that short term factors are becoming more important - and this shows that they can look back over what they have written and decide that one argument is better than another. However, it could improve by being clearly labelled as a conclusion by saying "In conclusion..." at the start. Currently it is unclear whether it is actually a conclusion, and it is absolutely essential you have a clear conclusion to prove that you can come to a decision about which section of your argument is most likely to be correct. #3# The quality of this essay's writing is excellent as the spelling, grammar and punctuation is very good. This means the examiner can focus on marking the student's analysis and knowledge rather than working out what they're trying to say. The essay also benefits from the use of political vocabulary - ''partisan identification model'' is better than saying ''people always vote for a certain party'' because it shows an advanced, subject specific knowledge."

"An excellent and well researched essay. Thank you"

"Decent."

"#1# Response to Question The candidate's response to the question is a well-developed and thorough examination of the arguments for and against pressure groups, which is essentially what this essay is. The decision to conclude the essay with a judgement on the effectiveness of pressure groups, and a final answer to whether they undermine democracy is important, and particularly with questions that begin with "To what extent..." candidates should always make a judgement based on the evidence they have considered in their essay. #2# Level of Analysis The analysis in this essay is of a very high standard. The candidate analyses the functions of pressure groups and the effect they can have on the government in a sufficient level of detail, providing examples of pressure groups which would be likely to influence policy making ("the Royal College of Nursing, the British Medical Association and the various teaching unions"). The candidate then goes on to consider the effect of pressure groups on democracy, discussing corporatism, which is a higher level topic that is unlikely to be covered at A Level, showing depth and further research and thus a strong candidate. The use of the 1940s-70s and Thatcher years to provide evidence for the idea that powerful extra-parliamentary can be damaging to the policy-making process and demonstrates a sound understanding of 20th Century British political history, further signalling a higher-level candidate. #3# Quality of Writing This quality of written communication in this essay is outstanding. The candidate has written a controlled, cogent, flowing essay with well-reasoned and supported arguments, and the use of appropriate terminology such as "liberal democracy" is good, as it shows the candidate understands the subject. Although the content is very good, it is not stellar, however, the candidate's writing gives the impression of a capable candidate who understands the debate in question, and this may make examiners mark more favourably. It is therefore recommended, but not a priority, that candidates try to develop a mature writing style - this will be particularly helpful as they progress through education. The only mistake is a minor spelling error, most likely a typo, which would certainly not impact upon the candidate's grade."

"V good but perhaps something on ethnicity needs to be included, and efforts to overcome the gender imbalance - all female lists, etc?"