AS and A Level: Biology Essays, Coursework and Assignments

"#1# The essay here engages will with the task, looking at both social and moral issues. There is a discussion of both sides of the argument, which is great. I would've liked to have seen some more critical language such as "this argument is weaker because" or "this could be argued, however" to show the examiner you can evaluate arguments. I'm not a big fan of conclusions which end by saying there are costs and benefits. It is much better to have an assertive voice which poses a justified judgement based on evidence and analysis. #2# The analysis here is strong. Although this essay focuses on the social and moral issues, it's still relevant to remember it is a Biology essay. Throwing in a few definitions of pre-natal screening and how it works would only make your argument more convincing. Similarly, explaining how the human genome is being mapped would benefit any arguments regarding social and moral concerns. This essay manages this in parts, but I feel there could be just a bit more reference to scientific processes. The debates here are perceptive and approach them with a mature manner. I liked how reference to research and developments in techniques was included to discuss how the social and moral concerns will be addressed into the future. It's great to see an essay which also considers the future prospects of genetic screening. I think this essay missed out on a huge topic regarding insurance and employment. If a person has a gene defect which means they're susceptible to heart disease, an employer with this information would be reluctant and so would an insurance company. Although with a change of lifestyle the heart disease can be prevented, this person will be discriminated heavily against. #3# This essay has an okay structure. I would've liked to have seen the introduction define genetic screening with reference to the scientific process as mentioned above. I feel this would just enable to examiner to see you have a sound understanding of the biology involved. I feel as if there are a few too many rhetorical questions here. This is supposed to be an A-Level Biology essay, not an English Language piece or a debate. Emotive language, therefore, is not appropriate. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are fine. I don't see the point in referencing at A-Level if you're going to include "Unknown scientific journal originating in USA" which is highly unnecessary."

"#1# Good overall response to the question. The answer is rather short but provides a perfect example of what an A level candidate should be aiming for in terms of length and segregation of the different parts, going for comparison rather than describing each protein separately which is good in this instance. The response to the question is clear and concise. #2# The analysis of the proteins is quite deep, but to improve their grade the candidate could have presented the information in a tabular format which would have made the information easier to read and mark. The candidate could have used more example to explain the differences between the two different proteins, for example going beyond the question and relating the structural differences to how the protein actually functions. Scientific terms used show a high level of understanding. #3# Grammar, spelling and punctuation are all correct. "

"#1# The writer manages to coherently compare the structure, functions and fundamental metabolism of the cell to that of a city, drawing relevant analogies between a city and the cell. The writer manages to focus on the most important parts of the cell such as the mitochondria, the nucleus, the endoplasmic reticulum, the Golgi apparatus and the cell membrane. Not only does the writer cover the biology behind these cell components, but also creatively compare these cell components to common features of a city. While these comparisons might seem obvious, the style of the writer in conveying this is humorous and also innovative as well. #2# Definitely, the writer does a neat job in explaining the various components of the cell, the structures of these components and their functions to present a clear idea of cell metabolism. Further, the writer justifies the title of this report by drawing appropriate comparisons to amenities and services in a city. The depth and accuracy of the biology is reflected in the references the writer cites throughout the report, justifying the effort and immaculate research put in. Each cell component is accompanied by an image that illustrates the content covered regarding that particular component. The writer also does not drag off or be distracted into describing a city which will of course be too obvious but just mentions the analogy and instead maintains a clear focus on the biology. The writer makes smooth transitions in writing about each component and in executing this transition in a logical manner, the writer establishes the interdependence between the various organelles. Overall, the writer does not delve too much into the finer details but presents the relevant information in a clear and coherent manner. #3# The language of the writer does not show any major flaws. Very few grammar errors are present and even these are not too glaring errors. The writer maintains a formal register required for this report, avoiding any colloquialisms though some clichéd statements could have been avoided. An important highlight of this report would be the content-wise organization of the report as the writer divides the report into different sections, each of which focus on a certain component of the cell. Even between these distinct sections, the writer weaves in links to ties up the report together. Overall, the writer has presented a very informative report on fundamental cell biology. "

"well written!"

"This is a good essay, the candidate has provided accurate information, and has included interesting facts gained from independent research.#1#Though the candidate uses the first paragraph to describe what a lipid is, there is no clear introduction, after the first sentence the candidate jumps straight into the body of the essay. An introduction should set out what you plan to discuss, introduce your main topic and provide simple facts that will lead you into your main topic of discussion. In addition this gives you a chance to catch the readers attention. The candidates response to the set topic is fairly explicit, they provide relevant scientific details and develop the discussion to include other relevant topics.#2#This essay goes into a reasonable level of detail and the information provided is scientifically accurate. The candidate shows evidence of independent research, for example they have discussed the way in which cleaning products works. Which shows an interest in the subject you’re discussing and makes the essay more enjoyable to read. In addition the candidate has shown a board subject knowledge as they have linked in other key points from the Biology specification, for example in the second paragraph s/he has mentioned the link between high cholesterol levels and increased risk of heart disease. However there is no real conclusion to this essay. A conclusion should summarise your key points and ideas (in this case the main reasons why lipids are important). This brings the essay to a close and gives you a chance to leave the reader with a good impression.#3#Unfortunately the quality of writing in this piece of work is below average. There are a fair few spelling mistakes, there are also occasions in which words have been omitted. In addition the candidate sometimes fails to use the plural for certain words and there are some problems with grammar. The candidate doesn't always use commas appropriately, when you read through your work, you should have a comma in every place that you naturally stop to take a breath. Though the essay flows well, the problems with the quality of writing and grammar make it difficult to read at times, therefore the essay is not as fluent as it could be. Many of the issues I have highlighted could have been eradicated if the candidate had proof read their work and been thorough when using spell check. "